


of diaries and donuts

by chichiki



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Office, Attempt at Humor, Diary/Journal, Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M, Nick Fury is Not Amused, POV Peter Parker, Parent Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, i have nothing against him he just didn't make his way here but i love him :(, minus Thor, peter's jOuRnaL, the avengers are office workers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 18:37:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19256881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chichiki/pseuds/chichiki
Summary: steve and tony finally become a thing, as told from peter's diary.





	of diaries and donuts

**Author's Note:**

> iight soo this is my first work in this fandom!
> 
> 1\. i'm not the best writer, but i try my best :)  
> 2\. this was for an english project. wrote the fic. changed the names, called it a day. but now it's gonna go here cause i kinda like it lol  
> 3\. yes, this is, in fact, an ATTEMPT at humor. i should also mention i wrote this the morning the english project was due so.. 
> 
> enjoy anyway!

XX-XX-20XX

 

dear journal, 

oh my god! i think i started a war! i didn’t know that donuts were that dangerous...

i just wanted to be a good son for my _lovely_ dad (i also wanted this new video game that came out, but that’s a minor detail not at all relevant to my ulterior motives), and i snuck into my dad’s workplace and brought them all dunkin’ donuts because who doesn’t love to get their diabetes on every once in a while, and everyone was like “wow, peter you’re the best” and i was like “wow, guys i am the best” and was patting myself on the back because dad had said that his whole mood had lifted cause i surprised him and then i felt slightly guilty that this was all a ploy for a new game but then i didn’t feel very bad cause i didn’t have time to cause that’s when it started.

it was like slow motion, as i saw steve (the man i’m pretty sure dad has gotten together with and divorced, despite the fact that they were never married, or together — still stuck on that weird i’m-pinning-after-you-but-i-hate-you type of thing...) walk over to the box and take the last donut in his hand.

and then dad looked over at him slowly and you could see realization and irritation flicker in his eyes, because dad gets _really_ protective over his food, and he pointed his hand out all accusatory and said ‘ _don’t you fucking dare_!’ (sorry, steve.)

and steve made direct eye contact with him, and then went on for all of 30 seconds (maybe it was actually 2, realistically) and then he actually cackled (very uncharacteristic. dad always told me he brings out the best in people. we have different versions of ‘best’, clearly) and took a bite out of the donut.

‘oo, what a savage.’ miss natasha, from her desk, had added, though her voice dripped with sarcasm as she rolled her eyes, and picked up a phone call.  

everything kinda went downhill after that.

words were exchanged (‘You really think I won’t end your career right here! Watch me you son of a _bitch_ —“ “Language! There’s a child present!”) and then dad proceeded to attempt to cover my eyes and promptly flipped steve off (though, he didn’t cover my eyes very well) and then they just bounced between fighting as two 5 years would and intense staring contests. mister bruce told me it was because they had already been fighting, and so it had mounted to yelling over something very trivial.

mr. fury, their boss, had only sighed and told me to pray that he doesn’t fire them both for giving him migraines (an hourly occurrence, he mentioned.)

and then mister clint thought it would be a good idea to send me off to a friends house. he said something about ‘staging an intervention before i murder them both myself’ and i went on my way, admittedly a little worried.

however, my worries melted away when my dad came to pick me up from ned’s house, and next to him holding his hand was…. steve!! Who saw that coming!! (read: everyone!)

it felt like a dizzying 180. but maybe it was a long time coming anyway. and I, technically speaking, got them together, and so i should definitely be getting my credits where it’s due. (that new videogame would be really awesome...)

 

 

( _“Y’know, kid, this was a really interesting diary entry. Heartfelt. Soul evoking. Masterpiece!” Tony makes a gesture with his hands as his son walks into the room where Steve, Bruce, and Clint are also situated, eating lasagna._

_Blank face, confusion, and horror flick across the boy’s face at once._

_“D-dad! It’s not a_ diary, _it’s a journal.” Peter snatches the book from him, hugging it close to his chest, and Tony doesn’t bother hiding the eye roll._

_“Whatever lets you sleep at night, kid.”_

_“Actually, that horrific episode could have been avoided if we held that intervention earlier. Like,_ a lot _earlier.” Bruce mutters into his food._

_“I don’t get paid enough for that. Keep it to yourselves next time.” Clint grouses, stuffing his face with more lasagna. Steve has the decency to look slightly apologetic and Tony rolls his eyes again before walking over to drop a kiss on top of his head, in which Clint makes a show of pretending to puke up his food._

_“Nah. more fun, more dramatic and flashy that way, don’t you think? And Peter, you, in fact, were not a catalyst in this event that transpired, so, therefore, I don’t owe you nothing. Eat up.”_

_Peter only scrunched his face in dissatisfaction, at what must be an obvious lie, before sliding into a chair next to Steve with a plate full of food in front of him._

_The young boy eyes the fluffy, grossly affectionate interactions between his dad and Steve._

  
_Maybe his dad’s contentedness with his new partner isn’t necessarily a bad prize too._ )


End file.
